The best thing about my bedroom was the bed. I liked to stay in bed for hours, even during the day, with the covers pulled up to my chin. It was good in there. Nothing ever occurred in there. No people. Nothing.
First, I wrote about me. I wrote for me. Next, I wrote about you. I wrote for you. Now, I write for me again. I write about you.
I didn’t want to get drunk with you because I was scared of saying all the words that I had swallowed down while sober, and I had made a promise to myself that I wouldn’t be used at anybody else’s disposal.
Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about you- the way you permeated my skin with such roughness and then left without hardly any resonance, at all. I’ve come to the conclusion that I’ll never be able to remove you completely from my mind. Snow-soft strokes and the way a man’s warm breath slows as he falls into a slumber are things I can’t quite bring myself to let go of. Once you invaded the solitary compartments of my heart, a small part of you will rest there in fond recollections, poetry, and blessings forever.
If you love me for what you see, only your eyes would be in love with me. If you love me for what you’ve heard, then you would love me only for my words. If you love my mind, then you will love me for all that I am. But if you don’t love me for every flaw, then you mustn’t love me, no, not at all.
Everybody blossoms at different times- some of us will unfurl our petals as soon as we can, whereas some of us choose to stay in a tight bud for as long as we are able. I, myself, may have bloomed a little late; my strength may be introspective, indirect, and womanly, but it is strength, all the same.
My hands find my pockets and my chin finds my chest every time you compliment me. I know not the when or the why of all of this, I just know it’s you.
When you say “no” and you mean “no,” and the other person, regardless of whether it’s in a situation where somebody wants to assault you or in a situation where somebody wants to change your opinion, when you say no and the other person continues, you should think immediately- not “How can I make it nice? How do I make it better?”- but immediately think, “Why is this person trying to control me? Because “no” is a complete sentence.
A moment will come, maybe in a month, maybe a year, maybe even several years. You’ll be tired or feeling troubled or quietly uncertain or even content for the first time. It won’t matter. Out of the blue, beyond any cause you can trace, you’ll suddenly realize things are not how you perceived them to be at all. For some reason, you will no longer be the person you believed you once were. You’ll detect slow and subtle shifts going on all around you, more importantly shifts in you. Worse, you’ll realize it’s always been shifting, like a shimmer of sorts, a vast shimmer. But you won’t understand why or how. You’ll have forgotten what granted you this awareness in the first place.
Remember all the things that you and I did first?
And now you’re doing them with her?
Please, this ain’t even jealousy,
She ain’t got a thing on me.